Life on Mars in the East Village

(Originally from Tuesday October 7, 2008)

Of all the shows recently, this is one of the shows that I have been wanting to get on for a very long time. When I finally got the call to be on it, I was excited. Mind you that excitement soon turned sour when I heard what I was being booked for.

The show "life on Mars" takes place in the 1970's about a New York City homicide detective who suddenly finds himself inexplicably transported from 2008 to 1973. The attractive part to be on this show is that it takes place in the 70's, a decade of my birth and to dress up in 70's attire play a part in this role would have been fun.

No such luck. The scene that I get booked for is this funeral scene, and it is current year, 2008. I'm like "What a Bummer!" I have been trying for weeks to get on this show. Also the biggest blow to me is that normally they shoot "mars" over at Kaufman Astoria Studios. Not this time. Of course it's over by 2nd street and avenue "A" area in the East village.

The only good thing I suppose is that I didn't have to go to get a fitting and all I had to wear was a black outfit appropriate for a funeral scene. Not too difficult as the majority of my clothes are dark and depressing. Reflects my career, I suppose.

The day itself was extremely long. The easy part was having the "mourners" all 200 of us going down the line to have the "Costume designer"(that's what this midget Kathy Griffin look-alike resembles) calls herself to make her feel important. So she examines us all and gives us the "O.K." seal of approval. I mean how can you screw up black for a funeral. Unless you are a whore and wearing lace panties in mourning for the death of one of your best clients.

The only thing that had to specific was the cops uniforms and how detailed in rank they had to get the patches to match up. That did take a long time. In fact that took about 8 hours of all us mourners in holding while the Police officers were examined to perfection by the "Kathy-Griffin" Midget. Since she was a midget, it took extra long time as she had to take a stool with her or climb up a ladder for the really tall cops.

After all that, Lunch was called. It was a walk-away lunch. This meant spending about 10 dollars of our already hard earned 40 dollars, i think not! My friend Linda and I went on a scavenger hunt to see where Kraft services for the crew and SAG was. What really sucks about "walk-away" lunches is that the only real thrill of going to these sets is the social aspect of it and the FOOD! Yes, Food, Glorious Food! When the Food is not there, the thrill is gone, and you really can't survive on the sustenance of the humor of your pals on set, no matter how satiable laughter can be.

Thanks to my friend Linda's outwardly sexual friendly nature to the male species, she got directed to the "hidden" table where they had nice sandwiches and food at our disposal. We grabbed a few sandwiches and left the table before we would be questioned. Survival skills 101 baby!

Finally after lunch, we were called to set which was all the way on East 3rd street, closer to ave B. One by one we piled into the church and grabbed a seat on one of the pews. All I could think if was "It's been a while since I've been in church", and started thinking about all the times my Mother dragged me to church to repent and become a good catholic. Obviously that failed me too.

The scene itself was long with a flashback feel and a ghost that we were to pretend not to see or acknowledge. The actress made famous in the 90's on the Cosby Show was Lisa Bonet up in front with her pregnant belly and playing the part of a widower.

After hours of being told being everyone to hush and quiet down, and our butts getting really sore from sitting on those hard benches, I looked up to the Lord and said "Haven't I paid my dues already?" "All I ask for is a SAG waiver, Lord!" IS that asking for too much??

Well if anything, my Catholic Mother would be proud of how many hours I spent in church. That truly made up for lost time.

CA ;